THEN AND NOW
By Linda Watling
A CHANGE OF DIRECTION
Chapter 9
As I had been feeling 'odd', I made an appointment with the doctor. On the morning of the appointment, I suddenly decided that my numbness was due to an allergy - I thought - to the oil paints that I had been using for some weeks. So, I went to my appointment feeling at ease. The doctor recommended an appointment with a neurologist; this I went to on July 29th. 1987. He calmly said "Oh well,, I don't think there's much doubt, you have got multiple sclerosis, but I don't think you'll get any worse so I won't see you again" .
I left the hospital feeling as if a sledge hammer had hit me! Fortunately, John was waiting to collect me. Dr Parkes had not bothered to ask whether I was alone or not; in fact, he offered no help or advice at all. I read pamphlets on the illness, they and time showed me that MS was not the end of life as I knew it. The hardest part was telling Liane and my mum. Despite worrying and crying 'buckets' I, with so much help from John, have managed to accept each stage as it came along. Liane and John have been towers of strength, there is NO way I could have managed without them. (As I write this the date is March 5th, 2001 and their help and love continues). I have the most wonderful family and friends ever, their support has been invaluable. Everyone treats me with kindness and understanding and they all accept me as I am - someone with an incapacitating illness but normal. (Well! As normal as I ever was)
In September 1988 Ann Drage invited me to her baptism at Rayleigh Baptist Church. I was very happy to go, never imagining that I would stay. I knew that this was where I wanted to be. I started to go regularly with Ann and Mick; by March of 1989 I had decided that I wanted to be baptised and become a member of R.B.C. I was baptised in June of that year. A member of the church told me that I would feel cleaner than I had ever felt. How very true this was!
I realised that God had been guiding me in the right direction all of my life; meeting John, getting my job at Scott Stratten and again at Rawreth school were not accidents. I used to think that luck had put me in the right places at the right times - I now knew that luck had nothing to do with it. To someone who doesn't believe it may seem odd that I say that Jesus is watching over me. My answer is that I would have multiple sclerosis whether I believed or not, but I know that God helps me to cope.
I got my first wheelchair just in time to go to Texas. I didn't need it all of the time as I could still walk. John and I had the most wonderful holiday. Part of the three weeks was spent with Ralph and Nita (Ron's friends) and the remainder was spent driving around. Part of our journey took us to the Grand Canyon - this took our breath away, a fantastic sight.
Stephen married in 1990 and one week after his wedding we went to Russia. John, I and my wheelchair had the most incredible week, not a holiday more an experience. Moscow was dirty, smelly and threadbare. The train from Moscow to Leningrad (now St Petersburg) had to be seen to be believed, it was so filthy. We made so many friends on this trip, there were people on the coach from all over the world. The supply of meals was very erratic - on one excursion we didn't get fed all day. This just added to the fun, everyone treated it as one big joke. Flying with Aeroflot, the Russian airline, was an experience not to be missed. When the plane took off the luggage fell down - still in the locker. One complete section of the baggage rack just came away from the wall. The light switch was held in place by a sticking plaster, the crew's bags were piled in front of the exit, all safety precautions were ignored and the steward said "no problem" to every question. We wouldn't have missed this week for anything.
Liane married Mark the following May, Sally was her attendant. (Liane had been bridesmaid to Sally in 1989 ) I was so happy that day, my lovely daughter was marrying a smashing man; I did not foresee the happiness that was still to come.
Do you recall my only visit to a football ground? I think it was prophetic that Tony took me to Spurs. Mark, Liane's husband, is a fanatical Spurs supporter.
Our first grandchild was born in March 1992; I was ecstatic, Amy was so beautiful She is growing more so with each passing year.
We made our last trip to America during 1993. Polly made her debut in March 1994, one year after Stephen's daughter, Lauren was born . (also in March). Polly was as gorgeous as Amy. Liane, Mark, Amy and Polly moved back to Hullbridge, from Hatfield, before Polly was one year old. This made my life complete. Amy and Polly are growing into beautiful, caring people, who have wonderful parents.
I used to worry that John wouldn't be the sort of grandfather they needed. How wrong I was! He adores them and will do anything for them. I am positive that, helping me as they do, they will be caring adults, unafraid of any disability.
Stephen's family was completed by the arrival of Marcus in March,1996. A silly argument has kept us apart since June 1997.
March 1998 was a very sad time. My dear aunt Elsie died. I had been so very close to her; I missed her then and I still miss her now. We had a very special relationship - she was my aunt, my friend, my everything; I was the daughter she never had. She always called me Lindy Lou - it would seem odd if anyone else called me that. During 1998 I decided to research my family tree - just a little way back! That really was my intention when I started; I had no idea how addictive it would become. I have made new friends via the Internet whilst finding out the information. Along the way I have become fascinated by the ancestors I have 'dug' up and, because of this, I felt that I wanted to write this story - just in case my grandchildren become interested in the way I lived.
My Dad's youngest brother died in January 2000; John and I went to the funeral and I was reunited with my uncle's five children. The last time that I had seen 3 of them was at my Dad's funeral in 1995; the eldest, Len, was just 15 when I saw him at my wedding. This meeting prompted me to contact the family of my mum's elder sister. My uncle George and aunt Sylvia aided me with this quest,; I contacted my cousin Barry and his sister Sylvia. They both came to the family reunion that I had on my 60th birthday along with Len and his mum, Mary. This was a smashing occasion; there were so many of us; some of whom had not seen each other for a long time. The party was made up as follows: Liane, Mark, Amy. Polly, John, his mum. dad and sister, my mum, my brother (Jackie, his wife was ill) George and Sylvia, Ron (Elsie's husband) my cousins Lesley (and Bill), Greg (and Glynis), Ralph (and Diane) and Bruce. Ralph brought his sons James and Ashley and Bruce his children, Tom and Katie. Ted and Cath, our friends for so many years, also came. This gathering took place on October 8th, 2000 and the following Saturday, my actual birthday, saw John, myself and 16 friends having a meal together in the local restaurant.
During the year 2000 I visited the Millennium Dome, went on the London Eye and my penfriend,Eleanor, and her daughter, Sue, came from Brooklyn, New York, to stay with us for a week. We had a smashing time.
In February 2001, my mum received £10,000 compensation for the time my Dad was a Jap prisoner of war. Well! Better late than never. She got this exactly 59 years after he was captured. How they could have used just a small part of this when he first came home. She hasn't got much use for it now, in fact she has shared it amongst her close family.
This seems to be a good point at which to stop. I may add to it later, but I think I've covered most relevant points. The date is March 10th, 2001. Having read this tale again I am of the opinion that I have had a happy, satisfying life. I have made so many friends, loyal and true. Liane and my grandchildren are wonderful.
My final comment must be about John. He has been the love of my life for 43 years, not one second has been a waste. He still works full time, cares for me, does the shopping, cooking, washing etc. (with help from Liane, I hasten to add). In fact he lives his life and mine. Words cannot express what I feel for him. John is the best husband anyone ever had.
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